First Day Jitters...All Aboard the Emotional Rollercoaster

I have the jitters. If I could remember how I felt about starting Kindergarten, I am sure it would be similiar to this feeling I am having now. I'm not sure though...I think this kind of feeling is realizing that I am being trusted to educate, care for, and build a relationship with 24 students. That's huge.

It is my hope that I will not only teach students how to do long division or the history of Alabama, but teach them about the value of hard work, that giving up isn't an option, and that no matter what people tell you--you can make your dreams a reality. Tomorrow, I am making my dreams a reality. Sure it's hit me that I ACTUALLY have a job and I ACTUALLY have a classroom, but when 24 faces are staring back at me tomorrow morning, I might have a hard time speaking without choking up. (BUT I HAVE TO BE STONG, BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE A MEAN MS. NEWMAN THE FIRST WEEK SO THEY DON'T TRY TO TRAMBLE ME LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS.)

I not only want to be the best teacher I can be, but I want to be someone my students learn to love and trust. It's not easy for students to trust their teacher. Some will only love me on days that I don't give homework which will probably never happen. I guess I just want to make a difference. I've been told NUMEROUS times about how some of the students in my class have a bit of an attitude and they best leave it at the door, and are somewhat high maintaince. But, I am not going to treat these students any different until they give me a reason to. Some of the students have lost their mother and that breaks my heart. And, mama said I can NOT bring them home. Bummer.  I want to be someone they look up to, want to be like, and the reason they come to school everyday.

Clearly--I want ALOT and who knows if I'll get it. All I can do is pray that my students respect me, love me, and fill my heart with a joy so sweet that makes me want to teach for 50 years. I hope that I can live up to everything that I want to be.

I read these 2 poems today and was in tears afterwards. They sum up my expectations of who I want to be as a teacher.

The fact that I won't sleep tonight, doesn't make it seem like this emotional rollercoaster is ever going to cease.
Praying for endurance, guidance, and stregnth,

James J. Metcalf

---

I want to teach my students how--
To live this life on earth,
To face its struggles and its strife
And to improve their worth.

Not just the lesson in a book,
Or how the rivers flow,
But to choose the proper path,
Wherever they may go.

To understand eternal truth,
And know right from wrong,
And gather all the beauty of
A flower and a song,

For if I help the world to grow
In wisdom and grace,
Then I feel that I have won
And I have filled my place.

And so I ask your guidance, God
That I may do my part,
For character and confidence
And happiness of heart.

Teacher’s Prayer

Lord, let me be just what they need.

If they need someone to trust, let me be trustworthy.

If they need sympathy, let me sympathize.

If they need love (and they do need love),

let me love in full measure

Let me not anger easily, Lord but let me be just.

Permit my justice to be tempered in your mercy.

When I stand before them, Lord, let me look strong and

good and honest and loving.

And let me be as strong and good and honest

and loving as I look to them.

Help me council the anxious, crack the covering of the shy.

Temper the rambunctious with a gentle attitude.

Permit me to teach only the truth.

Help me inspire them so that learning will not cease at the

classroom door.

Let the lessons they learn make their lives fruitful

and happy.

And, Lord let me bring them to you.

Teach them through me to love You.

Finally, permit me to learn the lessons they teach.

Amen

Tear Ducts have BEEN warmed up all week.

I figured since I have had a lot, and by a lot I mean a WHOLE lot, of scary "life" moments since graduation, I'd entertain you somewhat. And when you hear the scary "life" moments, you may not think they're scary at all. However, I feel differently.

I walked into my classroom on June 14th. I stood there and just looked around. Bare walls, a teacher desk, a reading table, 3 computers, a printer, and a few chairs. "Whoooaa.." I thought to myself--This gives the phrase "starting with a clean slate" a whole new meaning.

Because my carpet had not been cleaned yet, I could only move things on the tile floor. Which isn't too big. I quickly got busy going through cabinets, throwing away unwanted items, and shortly had used a whole bottle of Lysol cleaner. After 5 hours of that nonsense, I took a step back, and realized nothing really looked different. Thinking tomorrow would be better, I turned off the lights and closed the door.

As soon as my door closed to my car, the waterworks began. I thought, "How in the world am I going to have this room ready in 2 months?" Again, this may not seem like a scary moment to you all, but me-- I was freaking.

I chatted with mama via FaceBook chat that night. She could tell only by the words on a computer screen that I was stressing. She assured me everthing would be fine. She knew I wanted everything perfect--in a short amount of time, and that wouldn't happen. But with her help, my classroom would be perfect by August 20th. I believed her. I knew that with her help, I could do it.

When I got in bed that night, I started to think about how some people would love to have my stress. They'd love to be setting up a classroom--which would mean they'd have a job. Instantly I felt so selfish for complaining and stressing over something that is a blessing in my life. Something that others would LOVE to stress over. And then--I told myself to not dare stress about something that I am so lucky to have. Unfortunately, I can't say that I have stopped stressing all together-but I have taken a chill pill. Or two.

Here it is June 21st, and I have no doubt that I will have the cutest little owl themed classroom EVER! And I owe a lot of that to my mama. She's made curtians, printed out posters, made pennets, etc. I'm very lucky to have a mother who's willing to step in and do whatever to make sure I am happy and satisfied.

Scary moment #2--actually terrifying. Finding a house to rent. And actually renting it. As you may know, I've been looking for somewhere to live for 2 months now. And have found NOTHING that has blown up my skirt. However, I have been to look at the same house every day this week--yeap, 4 days. I went Monday when a lady who works with my dad called and said, "I found YOUR house...and it's in your price range." I didnt even get excited. Why? Because I have gotten so excited about the past 15 houses I went to look at, and left extremely disappointed. Sometimes in tears. Why I am so emotional these days is beyond me? Anywho...I got the number from her and called the lady whose name I STILL don't know because she is German, and I can't hardly understand her when she's talking.

So I went Monday and thought it was okay. Definately better than any other house at this price.  Tuesday, I went with the realtor who's a family friend. She had showed me 4 properties before that one that neither one of us liked. When we got in the car she said "Rachel, I really think we should cancel the rest of the viewings because you arent going to find anything in a better location, for that price, and in that condition." Hmmm...okay FINALLY--something is working out in my favor. So that's what I did. Wednesday, Cody came to look at the house with me since we'll be living together. He had only been to look at one other house with me and he liked it better than the other one. Anyone who knows Cody, knows he is a "go with the flow" type guy. Whatever makes me happy makes him happy. And for that I am sooo thankful. But it wasn't what I wanted at the time. I wanted a "Yes, Rachel. Let's sign a lease."

I NEVER expected to say this but here it goes. "LIFE IS MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU'RE JUST TOLD WHAT TO DO AND DON'T MAKE THE DECISIONS ON YOUR OWN. Why? Because then if you end up unhappy or something happens, you can blame it on whomever made the decision. I know---Shame on me.

So today when Mama came up to help me in my room, we went to look at the house. She would never really give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down though. So while we were shopping in Wal-Mart afterwards, mama says, "Anything else you need to look for." My reply, "A decision. You think they sale those here?" She smirked. And acted like she didn't know what I was talking about.

At the lunch table, she knew I was about to just lose it. She can read me like a book. Or just look at my face. She said she hated to see me so upset and "on the fence" about this house.

In between the tears, I explained that this is the first REAL LIFE, BIG GIRL, GROWN UP decision I've ever made. It's freaking scary. I need someone to tell me that I should rent it or I shouldn't. I need someone to tell me it'll be so cute once I get a wreath and a rocking chair on my front porch. I need someone to assure me that I'm making a good choice.  I don't want the first decision I make as a grown up to be the wrong one. But how would I know if it was?

She explained it to me this way-- When I was about 3 years old, we lived on Gilmer Ave. in an OLD, crappy, mill house which is no longer there because Jack's was built. It had no heat, was sketchy, and during winter mama used to pick me up out of the bed when she got up in the morning and lay me in the bathroom floor while she showered and blow dried her hair to keep me warm. It was bad. But, it was what she could afford and a place for us to live. She didn't know at the time when she made the decision that everything would tear up, that ambulances and firetrucks would wake us up everytime they went down the 4 lane, ot that the mosquito truck would turn around in our driveway every afternoon around 5pm. But she learned from it. She didn't learn that mill houses suck. She learned that no matter where we lived, what we had or didn't have, we made it. Now let me say this-- I know you're thinking I'm considering moving into a millhouse, in the ghetto, but I'm not. It's in a quiet neighborhood, a 3 BR and 1 1/2 bath.

Anyway--back to the story, after more tears at the lunchtable I left feeling better. I don't know that I am making the perfect FIRST big girl decision. But what I do know is that I'll make wrong choices in life. And I'll probably be mad at myself for them. But I'll learn from them and I will make it. Especially with my sweet baby love by my side. And a supporting mother and family.  I'm just excited Cody and I get to see each other EVERYDAY for the first time in 2 years. Ahh..that fact alone makes me feel like I'm already on the right track. And  we have made the decision to try to rent the house. Scareddddddd to death. Gotta fill out the paperwork and get everything taken care of before I can say for sure. Everyone please say a prayer for me and Cody. I know if it's His plan, we'll get the house. And if it's not--I can understand it better because if He says no, it's coming from someone who knows exactly what needs to be done.

Knowing what's meant to be will find a way,

Drumroll please.......

I know it's been a super long time since I blogged. But I finally have a reason to get my tail on this computer and share something very exciting.

Three weeks ago, I approached the principal about coming to watch me teach. I told him I'd love for him to share any feedback with me, good or bad, to make me a better teacher. He came into my classroom three days later wanting to set up a time to come watch me teach. We decided on Friday during math. So, I worked extremely hard on developing my BEST lesson. I spent around 3 hours making a PowerPoint, a game, and an interactive review to cover what we'd learned so far that week as an introduction to my lesson.

I had threatened encouraged my children to be on their best behavior and if they would be angels, I'd give them a prize. They love prizes from Ms. Newman. So, five minutes until the principal is going to arrive, I pull my interactive game and PowerPoint up and it isn't connecting with the SmartBoard. My heart DROPPED! I freaked immediately. What was I going to do? My entire lesson was based on technology and now, of course, it fails on me. Thankfully, another teacher rushes to my side to rescue me. Got everything up and working two minutes AFTER the principal was supossed to arrive. I go ahead and begin my review game. My eyes are fixed on the clock while we're reviewing and I got a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I said to myself, "He isn't coming." Four minutes later, the phone rings and it's someone letting me know he isn't going to make it. I wanted to squall my eyes out. I had worked so hard on this lesson so that I could show him how serious I was about teaching and how much I loved what I do. And now he wasn't coming. I held it together. Barely. When he returned  to campus, he came to my room and sincerly  apologized. More than once. When I got in my car that afternoon, I cried the whole way home. I felt sure my chance of showing my ability was over. Crushed. Done.

The next week was state testing so I knew that he would be busy and probably forget to come watch me.  But, I remained hopeful and knew that if he did show up, I'd be ready to go. Again.

Friday, one week later, he and the assistant principal approached me in the library while I was progress monitoring my students one-on-one and said they wanted  to watch me. My heart dropped. My other students were in the classroom already doing math (which is the subject he wanted to see me teach). I finished with my student, and RAN returned to my classroom. They followed and I announced to the class we were going to be switching gears. I asked the administrators to give us 10 minutes to get ready. (In the meantime, I am waking a student up that is asleep SITTING AT MY DESK!!!!!!!!!!! WHOA!) They stepped out and I pulled my heart from my stomach back to my chest. And woke the student up at my desk.

The lesson went GREAT. Besides the fact the sleepy head, was sleeping SITTING UP on the floor in front of me. I said his name so many times, it sounded like I was using his name as punctuation. It was that bad.

The principal had to step out to take care of something, and before the assistant principal left she asked me, "Could you stay after school Monday for an interview?" Instant response- ABSOLUTELY. If you all know me, you know this would be my dream job. I am obsessed with this school. I love it. I love the staff. I love the administrators. And I love the kids. And I love Auburn:)

Monday afternoon comes and I really am NOT even that nervous. I didn't know what was wrong with me? I was more excited than anything. The interview went EXCELLENT and afterwards I was so "at peace" with the situation. I knew that if it was God's plan for me to teach there, it would happen. But the anticipation set in Monday night. I could hardly sleep. Tuesday comes. Hear nothing. And, honestly, I didn't expect to. But I was still hoping to. Tuesday comes. NOTHING. Ahhhh....

Wednesday comes and I have a sweet little student that just can't get it together. He can't stay in his seat, do his work, follow directions, stay awake, and my teacher had really gotten outdone with him. So, I got the pleasure of escorting him to the principal's office and discussing what a difficult day he was having. When I knocked on the door, the principal says, "Oh hey Ms. Newman, so glad you stopped by." I began to explain my reason for coming and we all 3 sat down to talk about what the plan of action was for my student. When I was getting ready to leave him in the office with the principal, he asked my student to step into another office and sit while we chatted. I really didn't think anything of it because we have been discussing this student on a weekly basis.

He begins, "Well, we were really impressed with your teaching and your interview. And it is my pleasure to offer you a teaching position here next year if that would be something you'd like to accept." Literally, I thought I was hearing things. The pause apparently startled him because he said, "Ms. Newman?" I was, in the meantime, fighting back tears. He explained that he is torn between placing me in a 3rd grade classroom and a 4th grade classroom because a 4th grade teacher sat in on the interview and really wanted me in 4th grade. And a 3rd grade teacher observed me a month ago, and approached him about hiring me for the 3rd grade position. And there is going to be some moving around of teachers next year so he didn't want to tell me I'd be a 3rd grade teacher and then next month decide he'd like me in 4th. He assured me that it was okay to share this information, that I will be employed in August, and he wanted to hire me before someone else did.

REGARDLESS, I WILL BE EMPLOYED BY AUBURN CITY SCHOOLS AS A 3RD or 4TH GRADE TEACHER FOR THE 2012-2013 SCHOOL YEAR!

I am absolutely BESIDE MYSELF. It still hasn't hit me yet that this is real life. That my prayers have been answered. That He is in charge and will always provide.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has been praying for me, encouraging me, and supporting me. I know that this is where I am meant to be, what I am meant to be doing, and it would NOT have happenned if it wasn't God's plan for me. Looks like my home will continue to be on the plains. Who could complain about that anyway?!

TO GOD BE THE GLORY,

Field Trip Fun/ Very Important Message

Okay. I'm getting better at this. Only because I am in a productive mood.

So Friday was great! I woke up and it was raining. I was thinking who goes to Callaway Gardens when it's raining. I had already heard horror stories of going to Callaway Gardens previous years when it was raining and sitting on the bus for an hour or more before deciding to go back to school. An hour or more wait isn't that long. But, with 70 second graders crammed on a cheese wagon would probably seem like 24 hours. And, I do NOT do throw up. Not my own. So definately no one elses. While reading journals I come across this precious little boys entry about getting bus sick every time he rides. This makes me instantly nervous. What if he does get sick? What if it gets on me? Or I smell it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
But, I wore my hair curly (so that couldn't contribute to my mood), put my tennis shoes on, and was off to school. I pull up and see this.

Charter buses? For a field trip? Saaaawheeeeet.

Now, my attitude changes immediately. Waiting an hour isn't an issue on a charter bus. Pop in a movie in the A.C. for those kiddos and we're set. Only about 30 minutes later do I find out 5th grade was also going on a field trip and those buses were for them. Danggggggggggg it. My mood changes again.

The kids walk in the classroom bounching OFF THE WALLS. Literally back and forth from the door, to my desk, to their friends' desks, to the window getting a weather update, and that 100 more times. I had to become really mean really quick because I didn't pack any Goody Powders.

Buses (CHEESE WAGONS) pull up. Not we must load lunches AND snacks. I'm pretty much tired by now. It stopped raining when we got off the interstate and the little fella sitting beside me singing "I bust tha windows outcha car" and "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes saying ayyy oh baby lettt go" might have helped my mood just a tad.

First thing we did was go to a Raptor/Prey show. Can I just say I really enjoyed that? Yes, I said it. And the kids LOVED it!

RED TAILED HAWK 

Okay, don't remember the name of this one 

Barn Owl

Don;t remember the name of this one either but I do remember the reason that he isn't allowed to be in the wild. "He met with a Suburban's windshield one night." 

Another picture of the Barn Owl (had my fkash on. Oops!)

Next, we were off to the butterfly garden. It was hot, humid, and loud. I enjoyed it for about 5 minutes and was over it! The kids were trying to play tag with the butterflies. Talk about stress. I could just see a child wanting a medal for being the "Tag" champ!

Then, it was time for lunch. Which was my 2nd favorite part. (Surprise, Surprise) After we ate, we played tag and I was "IT" probably 4,257 times. I was def. tired then. While one of my kids was playing, NOT TAG WITH ME, he was running, not looking where he was going, and ran full speed INTO A HUGE CEDAR column that knocked him flat on his back. This is the same one whose name I say in my sleep for not staying in his seat. He had a goose egg the size of a baseball. No exaggeration!

Finally, we were off to the garden. This was my 3rd favorite part because we were literally there for 10 minutes and that was plenty of time to see everything that was there. But, really the flowers were my favorite part.  Here's some pictures from there.

How goregous were those flowers? They made me actually made me want to try to have a green thumb. But, my boyfriend cuts grass. So maybe he will. Or do people who cut grass not have green thumbs. Anyhow, I'd love flowers in my yard like the ones in the pictures above.

And we're off. I literally fell asleep on accident on the way home. My teacher took a picture of me and all but 4 of my kids in my class sleeping on the way home. Ooops. Honest mistake. I was tired.

And that led to me napping for an hour or more Friday night and being completely worthless.

Tomorrow, I am starting to teach about the life cycle of caterpillars. I went through the caterpillars that I put in individual cups for each student last week with mallow. Mallow- google it. It's used in marshmallows and it stinks (smells like baby food) and made me want to vomit. And doing 23, wasn't fun. But, I got the caterpillars out of the box today and 7 had already died. I left them in the box therefore they couldn't get light and suffocated. Way to go Ms. Newman. (Hold your applause please!) But don't fret, I placed them by the window seal to try and bring them back to life. And if I am unsuccessful, I have plenty extra.
Pictures to come on this unit!!!! I am soo pumped. I know all the kids will name their caterpillars tomorrow so I'll definately make note of the names to share. Oh and check out my new system for student's turning in their work. They come and file their work under their name so I can just snap this filing cabinet shut, and carrry it right to my car, then right in my house, and grade away.

And yes, I know goes is off center, and it is driving me completely bonkers, BUT I don't feel like redoing it!

One last very important thing--

It's this beautiful woman's birthday! Happy 46th birthday mama!!! Don't kill me for telling your age. I'm only doing it so people won't believe your my sister. You never cease to amaze me with you kindness, love, and humor. I couldn't imagine having a better person as my best friend. However, I can imagine a better mom for Jake and that would be you! Hope you day has been HALF as wonderful as you. Love you more than words could EVER say!

Until Friday/ish,

"Her skin is as smooth as a rock"

Maybe starting a blog wasn't such a great idea.
Or maybe there should be more than 24 hours in a day?
Either way, I feel like a let down when it comes to blogging. But, when I do blog, I try to catch you up on what I'm going to be doing so that kinda makes up for days I don't right?

Reading journals today, I come across a journal entry about yours truly. It reads:

"I like Ms. Numan our inturn. I will tell you about Ms. Numan. Her name is Rachel like me. She has pretty brown hair. Her hair is straight and long. Her eyes are brown as dirt. Her skin is as smooth as a rock. She is pretty. She is a big help in the classroom. She is really good at expressing what she is reading. I think Ms. Neman is really nice and smart."

Well.....that was just too cute wasn't it? I went from Ms. Numan to Ms. Neman. And we have been working on adjetives lately so I am assuming that this student is trying to incorporate them in her writing. However, saying that my skin is smooth as a rock frightens me. I mean, it must be really neat to have skin as smooth as a rock. Right?!

Teacher appreciation week was 2 weeks ago and my kids made me feel SUPER appreciated. They made cards on Monday. Brought me "hugs and kisses" (Hershey's) on Tuesday. Then, flowers on Wednesday. And on Friday, I got a gift card from the class:) It's always nice to see that all of your hard work is being appreciated by SOMEONE.

Here are some things that were said in the cards:

"You are lovely like hearts."

"I love you Ms. Newman thank you for what you have taught us. and thank you for the story's you have read to us."

"Mr. Newman I love you." (Followed by a drawing of 2 girls. Beside on it says: You are 20. And by the other: I am 7."

I guess I'll appreciate the fact that she said I was 2 years younger than I really am one day.

"Happy Valentine's day. I hope you have a nice Valentine."

Yes, John, my Valentine, Cody, is a nice person.

"Dear Mrs. Rachel Newman, thank you for teaching us to be hard working second graders. I we wern't with you or if you wern't here with us we would'nt be hard working second graders. thank you for all. you're sensearly. your friend, bob."

Well, this is funny because I say Bob's name in my sleep at night. He is constantly out of his seat, sitting in his chair like it's a Lazyboy, or talking. But gosh, I love Bob. Thanks for appreciating that I want you to be hard working second graders.

"Thank you Ms. Newman for thanking of thes projects and being relly nice."

This next one, I have NO IDEA where this saying came from or what it is implying. If you know, please fill me in!

"Just let the NATION come to your girl." (Illustrations include: a strawberry. a cat, a ladybug, a flower, and a dog.)

This week we are having a short week because we're going on a field trip Friday. I am so excited but SO nervous at the same time. I sometimes have trouble keeping these kids in the classroom. Do you think it would be bad if I offered to purchase those kiddie leashes for my group?! COMPLETELY KIDDING! But I do for see some events occuring: someone getting sick on the bus, someone having to go to the bathroom on the bus, someone swatting and injuring/killing a butterfly, someone forgetting their lunch and asking to share mine, someone trying to catch a butterfly and put it in their pocket, someone asking 10,000 questions about butterflies that I can't answer. These are just a few. But all jokes aside,  I know they will be so excited and will be precious angels.

 But, we are working on our "SPRINGING INTO CONTRACTIONS" bulletin board. The boys are making Contraction Catepillars. (Cut out 6 circles. The 1st circle gets 1 googly eye and a smile. The other 5 get contractions. Then, each circle gets 2 legs. Each leg has the 1 of the 2  words written to make up the contraction.) The girls are making Contraction Kites. (Contraction goes on the kite. The 2 words that make up the contraction go on 2 bowties, and on the 3rd bowtie, they write a sentence using the word.) Presh huh?

Next week we start our butterfly unit. Don't worry. There are TONS of pictures to come. I could sit here for hours and write about what all we will do but I'll post pictures instead:)

That's about all the exciting things I have. I have been extremely busy preparing for my 2 full weeks of teaching. I am so ready to get started but I have been planning for almost a full week and am not even halfway through. It's times like these that I wish I wasn't such a perfectionist. Oh and the job search continues. I have written follow-up letters to those schools I interviewed with, sent copies of resumes and coverletters to the schools I've applied with, and that is VERY time consuming. Addressing each cover letter to a different person AFTER finding out who it should be addressed to leads to me wanting to pull every hair off my head!  But, I hope all of this hard work will pay off. It's all in His hands.

Until the butterflies arrive at YES,

Beware: Reality slaps hard.

Education Interview Day= a strong dose of reality.

I was so nervous about today. I'd been nervous since the middle of January. I can literally talk to anyone but when I know that what I say and do determines my future, my stomach turns. That's just me.

When registration finally began (after standing in line for 30 minutes) reality set in. There were hundreds (not exaggerating) of people there with the same exact hope and purpose that I was. And, I am not talking just college students. There were people there who had graduated 2 years ago and were still looking for a job. BOOM! Reality elbowed me right in the side. There are people who have been looking for jobs for TWO years. And here I am thinking that I am going to find a job BEFORE I even graduate. Finally, after sitting through registration in the auditorium, it was time to go around to sign up for interview times. When the man said, "Okay, yall are dismissed." it reminded me of Black Friday. People were RUNNING to tables to make sure they got an interview slot. Thankfully, with my experience of the Black Friday rush, I managed to get the 5 interviews that I wanted.

My first interview
Purpose: to get all the nerves and jitters out before I went to interview with a school I was FOR SURE interested in. Overall, it went great. Met the principal of the school (which did not interview me but overheard my interview and wanted a copy of my resume) and I realized that today wasn't going to be AS bad as I had made it out to me. Final question for my interviewer: "Are there going to be any openings in your school system for the 2012-2013 school year?" Response: "I've been working with this school system for 15 years and we've never not had any openings." Seemed as though the room got a little brighter.

Second Interview:
Purpose: GET A JOB. Outcome: Unsuccessful. My interviewer was a principal at a local school. All she did was ask questions and write my response down word for word which was what every other interviewer for this school system was doing. Kind of disappointing but hopefully something good will come of it. I want a job with this school system more than I want my gray hairs to stop appearing. That's BAD.

Third Interview:
Purpose: Go out on a limb. Outcome: Done, son. This was with a Birmingham area school system. HUGE school system. 39 schools with 28,000 students and largest employer in the county (3500 to be exact). Do I see myself moving to Birmingham and teaching there? If the opportunity arises, possibly. Final Question: Same as interview 1: "Any openings?" He gave me his e-mail address and said to look for openings to be posted and either e-mail or call and he'll be glad to send my resume and cover letter to the principal of that school. PERFECT!

Fourth Interview:
Purpose: Same as interview 2. GET A JOB! Outcome: Same as interview 1. Interviewed with the principal at a local middle school. The last thing he wanted me to do: "'I'm going to give you 2 minutes to sell yourself and convince me that we should hire you." I know this is hard for some to believe, but I find that awkward. I don't know everything. Never will. But, I rambled through it.

Fifth Interview:
Purpose: Get the experience. Outcome: Success. I really just signed up with this school to get more experience in interviewing and questions. It was the end of the day. Said she'd be in touch if anything came open.

Driving home, reality strikes again. It's so hard to comprehend that I have worked so hard and am so passionate about teaching and today proved that not all great canidates get a job. Not all excellent canidates get a job. Only the elite get jobs. It's discouraging. So discouraging, I literally want to bang my head against the wall. I have seriously gone to school for 4 years (giving up every summer for school since I graduated high school to be done quicker) and now it comes down to this?!?!?! REALITY hits. (This time it dead legs me.) But the truth is, teaching is what I love and I will not give up on it. I will find someway, somehow to continue doing what I love.  I tried to picture myself in other professions but I just can't see myself doing ANYTHING else without a daily reminder that I know I belong in a classroom. If it's meant to be; it will be. And it;s not up to me. It's up to God. That's what I keep telling myself! I just need to let go, and let God handle it.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a planner. I can't decide on Wednesday, "Hey, let's go to the beach Friday after work." Why? Because then I wouldn't have time to make a packing list or lay all my outfits out or plan an agenda. Yes, I take things to that extreme. So, letting go and not worrying about what will or will not be is difficult for me. Dang near impossible. My lease at  my house runs out in July. I can't go back home. Well I can, but I am ready to be a big girl. (Plus mom and I have already talked about how we would claw each other's eyeballs out. In a nice way of course.) So, not knowing if I'll have a job or not is KILLING me. I think about it daily. Sometimes about 5 times daily. I am so ready to get a classroom of my own. My mom has so graciously taken up my addiction to teaching stuff and school supplies, and I have boxes, probably around 20, filled to the top with teaching materials and stuff to decorate my classroom with and now I'm scared I won't even get to use it. What if it's 2 years from now when I get the stuff out to use? Reality again. Its hit so hard today, I can't even feel it!

I just wanna do what I love. No offense, but there are some teachers who HATE their jobs. I'd gladly take their position. I just need the opportunity and I promise that I will not let the individual down who gives it to me.

Until next time, I'm plotting revenge on reality.

Got a little bite to go with my bark.

P.S.- Every interviewer today asked me where I was from. "Tallassee" EVERY REPLY, "Ohhh where the historic hotel burned down. So sad." Maybe we aren't known as "Lil' Miami" anymore. Or maybe they fogot when they heard about the hotel. Either way, the Hotel Talisi is remembered.

Making up for time, but trust me: it isn't lost.

Yet again, as I begin to write, I try to think of the main reasons why I have YET to keep my promises of blogging. I have an explaination. Well, okay, I admit it. I have an excuse. But, if I am going to have an excuse it has to be a good one. Ehhh...it's questionable. Unless you are an intern, you probably won't consider my excuse a good one.

I haven't taken pictures of my 100th day bulletin board. However, Valentine's Day is approaching and I will definately be taking a picture before I swap from the "Picturing Ourselves at 100" bulletin board to "Ms. Newman's Sweeties" So what is the excuse for this? I have been really busy changing around a few things to make classroom procedures run smoother. For example, I made a bulletin board that reads, "I need to (picture of ketchup bottle). This is where I post all assignments that were not turned in, tests not taken, etc. I can't take credit for this adorable idea. Thanks, Pinterest.

Excuse #2: Today was my first of 10 non-consecutive teaching days. YEAH! One down, 9 to go. I am teaching all week this week except for one small chapter group reading group and social studies. The only reason I am not teaching these are because the small group is in the middle of the chapter book and the students are working on a project in social studies. I am just excited as the students about the social studies project as my students. We will be having a "Living Museum of Famous Americans". Students will dress up as a famous American, come dressed as them, and recite a speech from memory about the person, a few facts, and why they are famous. Some famous Americans include: Barack Obama, Rosa Parks, Oprah Winfrey, George Washington Carver, Hellen Keller, and Martin Luther King Jr. I am really most excited because MY MOM IS COMING TO MEET MY STUDENTS and watch the students speeches. I already told them and they wanted to know what she looked like, if she was going to come early to meet all of them, and how long she was going to stay.

Excuse #3: Since I am teaching all this week, I had to do lesson plans for each day, for 3 subjects. Plus, 2 reading groups. That makes the total number of pages for my lesson plans for the week.............drumroll please.............16 pages. (and no, we aren't talking 18 pt. We're getting real with 11 and 12pt.)  Yeah, I am so glad that is over. That in itself should be a pretty dang good excuse. Oh, and trust me. I have already started on lesson plans for next week. I don't really want to spend my weekend next weekend working on lesson plans. I got a tad bit burnt out on that this weekend.

Excuse #4: I am now responsible for reading 21 journals that are written in everyday and commented on by yours truly. I can't say that I DON'T enjoy this. An absolutle hoot. DOWN RIGHT HILARIOUS. STRAIGHT UP HONEST. Some kids will say ANYTHING that comes to mind. No matter who reads it!  Then, there are some that are so sweet, it brings tears to my eyes. Probably my favorite thing to bring home from school to do. Here's why: (I am sharing just as they are written so no, I haven't forgotten how to spell)

Suzie:
#1: "I love Jesus. I will tell you about Jesus. He died on the cross to take away our sins. He was born on Chirstmas Eve. He put a star in the sky to tell people that he had came. If you want to learn about Jesus you can go to church. Once he turned water into vine. he can do meracals. He is is the holy spirit. Jesus lives in heaven with the angles. Jesus always has and always watch over you and me."
*Amen.

#2: This morning I spilt my cearal on the table, chair, and even my own pants. I will tell you how it happenned. I was putting my elbow on the table and axadently I bumped my cearel and it spilt! I did not now what happenned for a minute. I went to tell my mom then I got a towal and started whipping it all up. At least nnot all of it spilt. It was a axident."
*And I thought my Friday was rough.

Minnie:
#1:"My dad's birthday was yesterday. At first, my mom buyd a card with a dog wearing a cowboy costume. Then we went to a restaurent that has really yummy foods. They have TVs and ice cream. My little brother likes green tea ice cream but I like chocolate better. Then we went back home with and gave the card to my dad with one hundred dollars because my dad works hard for us and bring my mom money. It is so exciting because my dad birthday is in Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday that why my mom gave one hundred dollars to my dad and I love him."
*Presh.
#2:"My friends are very some they said they don't like my brother so they get in lots of troubles. If my brother cries they dont even care of my brother so I talk to them if you dont take care of my brother you will get in trouble. That is what i do when people dont care of my brother. That is very mean if you do that everyday. I can talk like that every morning if my friends dont care of my brother. I love my little brother always and everyday will love him always. If he gets hurt i will tell my mom always and everyday. What ever my little brother do I am going to protect him always. My litte brother's favorite drink is milk and juice."
*Even more presh. Teared up on this one.

James:
#1:  (Writing about my new desk in the classroom)
"Today when i came in the classroom the tadles are switches around evereything is switched around today xcept outside. I had a hard time finding wher i sit. it is switched around because we have a new tadle in here. it is a big table. can you imagine you haveing a hard time finding your seet with a table so big. I had to ask adam to find my table. YAAAAAAAAAAA!
*Literally LOL'd. Had no idea James was so out of sorts over my desk.
2: "I finilly got a new favrit restrant. it is called subway. I love that place. you can get some real good stuf there cant you. any stuff your going to ask about then call 501-8**3. Other thing you sometime get a toy! cool toys! man i love subway so much man. Do you wish you were there? yes/no circle. ms. newman bring your kids there they will enjoy it just like me.
*Ahhhh, only been asked if i have kids 10 times and they still dont understand. Oh and how ab that telephone number James gave me on the drop of a hat. I did't put the real number, because it could be his phone number.
#3: (Portion of 100th day of school journal)
" i loved the 100th day of school. I wish every day was the 100th day of school. exeped saturday, sunday, and marten luther king day and christmas and other holidays."
Note: all of the days he wished the 100th day of school wasn't on, there is NO SCHOOL! Duhhh. Funny, james. Real funny.

Ann:
#1: "Last Monday was MLK jr. Day. THe next time I see Tim we are going to set up a table in front of the driveway and we will have 2 baskets for the money to donat. One is for the animals at the human sitedy. The other one is for the for all the people who are poor. I will sell the drawings I am working on. TIm is giong to helpe me make posters for the neiborhood. We are going to have 2 of every box exsept for one the cloths*(clothes) box for kids and grownups. Thier is a food, clothes, Valentine's cards, and winter clothes. I will have a box full of paintings, drawings, and color sheets that people can buy and we can take the money to the animal shelter."
*Future President for sure.

Vicki- (Writes about her best friend K everyday. Literally everyday. Here's some funnies.)
#1. We still like to play with K's brother, but when he bites, pushes, and pulls our hair out."
*Daaannnnnnnggg Vicki. You betta run!
#2: Her bed is about 4 and a half feet tall. I need a ladder to get up there. If I was sleeping on her bed I could fall off and bust my head WIDE open. And I'd get blood everywhere.
*TMI (Too Much INFORMATION)
#3: My little brother, (who is the most annoying animal on the planet) could not go on the ride. He was too short. Shortie pants.
*Ruthless.

Okay. I literally spend an hour and a half typing all fo this so some people better forgive me. Or I will bust my head wide open on the floor.

Pinky promise, I'll be backkkk before the week is over.

                                            Making up with TMI,