First Day Jitters...All Aboard the Emotional Rollercoaster

I have the jitters. If I could remember how I felt about starting Kindergarten, I am sure it would be similiar to this feeling I am having now. I'm not sure though...I think this kind of feeling is realizing that I am being trusted to educate, care for, and build a relationship with 24 students. That's huge.

It is my hope that I will not only teach students how to do long division or the history of Alabama, but teach them about the value of hard work, that giving up isn't an option, and that no matter what people tell you--you can make your dreams a reality. Tomorrow, I am making my dreams a reality. Sure it's hit me that I ACTUALLY have a job and I ACTUALLY have a classroom, but when 24 faces are staring back at me tomorrow morning, I might have a hard time speaking without choking up. (BUT I HAVE TO BE STONG, BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE A MEAN MS. NEWMAN THE FIRST WEEK SO THEY DON'T TRY TO TRAMBLE ME LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS.)

I not only want to be the best teacher I can be, but I want to be someone my students learn to love and trust. It's not easy for students to trust their teacher. Some will only love me on days that I don't give homework which will probably never happen. I guess I just want to make a difference. I've been told NUMEROUS times about how some of the students in my class have a bit of an attitude and they best leave it at the door, and are somewhat high maintaince. But, I am not going to treat these students any different until they give me a reason to. Some of the students have lost their mother and that breaks my heart. And, mama said I can NOT bring them home. Bummer.  I want to be someone they look up to, want to be like, and the reason they come to school everyday.

Clearly--I want ALOT and who knows if I'll get it. All I can do is pray that my students respect me, love me, and fill my heart with a joy so sweet that makes me want to teach for 50 years. I hope that I can live up to everything that I want to be.

I read these 2 poems today and was in tears afterwards. They sum up my expectations of who I want to be as a teacher.

The fact that I won't sleep tonight, doesn't make it seem like this emotional rollercoaster is ever going to cease.
Praying for endurance, guidance, and stregnth,

James J. Metcalf

---

I want to teach my students how--
To live this life on earth,
To face its struggles and its strife
And to improve their worth.

Not just the lesson in a book,
Or how the rivers flow,
But to choose the proper path,
Wherever they may go.

To understand eternal truth,
And know right from wrong,
And gather all the beauty of
A flower and a song,

For if I help the world to grow
In wisdom and grace,
Then I feel that I have won
And I have filled my place.

And so I ask your guidance, God
That I may do my part,
For character and confidence
And happiness of heart.

Teacher’s Prayer

Lord, let me be just what they need.

If they need someone to trust, let me be trustworthy.

If they need sympathy, let me sympathize.

If they need love (and they do need love),

let me love in full measure

Let me not anger easily, Lord but let me be just.

Permit my justice to be tempered in your mercy.

When I stand before them, Lord, let me look strong and

good and honest and loving.

And let me be as strong and good and honest

and loving as I look to them.

Help me council the anxious, crack the covering of the shy.

Temper the rambunctious with a gentle attitude.

Permit me to teach only the truth.

Help me inspire them so that learning will not cease at the

classroom door.

Let the lessons they learn make their lives fruitful

and happy.

And, Lord let me bring them to you.

Teach them through me to love You.

Finally, permit me to learn the lessons they teach.

Amen